Chris Griffin vs the Quahog Region
by tangledball
Summary: Chris embarks on a brand new Pokémon adventure, unaware of the trials he will face.


Chris's eyes opened. He couldn't believe it. Today was the day he turned 16. He leapt out of bed, accidentally falling to the floor.

"What was that!?" yelled Lois.

"Nothing mom, I'm just so excited!"

Lois barged into Chris's room.

"Oh, right! I can't believe it; My little baby is already 16!" Lois exclaimed, "and you know what that means…"

"I can go to parties like the cool kids at school now?" asked Chris excitedly.

"No, silly! You're gonna get your very first Pokémon!"

Chris's eyes widened. His very first Pokémon? It was like a dream come true! He rushed out he door in his pyjamas and sprinted to the local Pokémon lab.

"Professor!" Chris yelled, mowing down unexpecting scientists in his wake.

"Oh my, what is it?"

"I'm finally of age!"

"Giggity," muttered Professor Quagmire, "Uh… Ahem. Yes, is it that time already? Well, I suppose I should be giving you one of these then."

The professor pushed a switch, and a little compartment holding three Pokéballs popped out from under the desk.

"So what Pokémon do I have to choose from?" Chris asked.

"Well, the first one I have to show you is an odd one. It's called Geodude, and it looks and acts like a rock, though it doesn't like being mistaken for one. I'll bring up an image for you."

Quagmire types up a storm on his computer, then a picture of a stone appears on the screen.

"That's a Pokémon?"

"Actually, that might just be an actual rock," said the professor, "I'll just take it out of the ball for you."

Quagmire drops the ball containing Geodude to the ground, and the hefty rock-like creature pops out.

"That thing looks sick! I want it!" shouted Chris.

Just then, Geodude punched Chris in the leg with all of its might. Chris howled.

"Err… maybe not this one," Quagmire said while withdrawing the Pokémon.

"So what's the next one," asked Chris, still clutching on to his leg from the pain.

"This next one, well… Uhh… I better not…"

"What is it!?" interrupted Chris, "Tell me!"

"It's… Unown. Please don't pick this one, it's so bad," said the professor, letting out a sigh, "All right, on to the last one…"

"No, wait! Unown, that sounds cool! It's like, all mysterious and stuff."

"No. It sucks."

"I'm picking it and you can't stop me!"

"Are you not even going to look at the last Pokémon I have?"

"Nope. Don't need to. Unown is the one for me, now hand it over, old man."

Quagmire let out another sigh, "All right then, your loss. Here you go."

He handed over the second Pokéball to Chris.

"Yes! Epic win!" Chris cried.

"Ok, please don't say that," Quagmire said in a disappointed tone, "Now get out of my lab before I shoot you."

"All right! Time to start my Pokémon adventure!" yelped Chris, dashing out of the lab.

Chris tried to run to Route 1 but got tired along the way, so he decided to take a rest on a bench. Another trainer walked by and laughed at him. Chris couldn't figure out what was funny. When he finally caught his breath, Chris got up and started walking at a brisk pace.

Once he made it to Route 1, he was spotted by a female trainer.

"Oh crap, that girl's coming over," Chris mumbled worriedly, "and she's cute!"

"Hey, what's up trainer, you new?"

Chris was unable to respond, instead only making weird sounds.

"Uhh… okay. Do you need help, or…"

Chris managed to get his act together somewhat, then muttered, "Fine! I'm fine! No, I'm good, real good! Very good!"

"Cool… Well, I'll be seeing you around I guess."

The girl backed away slowly, then started walking quickly in the opposite direction Chris was going.

"Ugh! I'm so stupid! Why can't I talk to girls!?" Chris scolded himself. He was so frustrated that he hadn't even noticed a Spearow heading right towards him. The tiny bird flew into Chris's shoulder, knocking him over.

"Yeeow!" Chris cried, "What was that!?"

Chris staggered back up, finally spotting the feral bird.

"Ack! I'm gonna die!" yelled Chris, "I can't fight this thing!"

Spearow swooped back around and started making its way back to the obese teenager. Just then, Chris's fight or flight instincts started to take over. He readied up into a fighting stance, keeping a sharp eye on the bird and waiting for it to strike.

A nearby trainer took notice of the shameful display, and shouted "Use your Pokémon you idiot, don't you have one?"

Immediately, the gears in Chris's brain began to turn. Pokémon? Where had he heard that before?

"Oh right, Unown!" Chris blurted out.

Chris grabbed the ball from his waist, and launched it at the Spearow, "GO! UNOWN!"

Unown broke out of the Pokéball.

"Awesome! My first battle!"

Unown turned to Chris, waiting for instructions.

"Well, what are you waiting for, attack!" Chris ordered.

That was good enough for Unown, apparently. He started to store up energy, but Spearow was too quick. It rammed into Unown, dealing heavy damage.

"No! Unown!"

Chris's Pokémon was just too weak. The attack knocked it out cold. Chris had to withdraw it into the Pokéball and make a break for the nearest Pokémon Center.

"This is going to be a long journey," Chris thought to himself before whiting out.


End file.
